Think I must’ve been in altered states to have penned this review. Goddamn it! How could I have been so mean, so easily influenced by cynical Yanks? I mean, check this.
ALTERED IMAGES
Happy Birthday
(Portrait, 1981)
According to our learned American friend there was a time around 1980 when all the male pop stars were incredibly wimpy and all the female pop stars were Cyndi Lauper. “Which,” he told us, “in fact, is Olivia Newton-John at the wrong speed. You could slip this in during Cyndi Lauper Marathon Day, and no one would notice. Is this Gwen Stefani’s grandmother? There aren’t any songs on this record. You paid 92 cents for this? It would be embarrassing to be caught paying seven cents for this. Why did you buy this record?” We’re glad you asked us that question. Because we had a crush on the singer.
Cost 92 cents. Bargain value: 1, slip cover 0
